Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
