UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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