Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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