i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Randomize
