Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
