so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
