he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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