Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
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