I swear she didn't look like that last week.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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