And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
