Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
