I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
