I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
