Taylor Swift is so right about you.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
