she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I know her cup size but not her name....
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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