Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
