My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
