Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I didn't notice because vodka
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
