ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
