do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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