Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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