I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
