At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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