i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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