yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
