I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
