Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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