Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
