She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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