Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
two words: eviction party
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize