I accidentally burped into my bong.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
