Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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