fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
