I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
