THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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