Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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