kristin has been a bad kristin
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Randomize
