If i come over, it means nothing
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
