Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
