she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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