can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
