i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
