Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
