i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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