We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
