Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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