on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
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