i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
