Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
