hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
