mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Sober January is a disaster.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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