I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
