it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
