Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
