Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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