After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
