Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
