So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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