Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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