I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
