from now on my penis is your penis
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You're a waste of cheezeits
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
