Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
